Anything For You
by shounenai4life
Summary: Sometimes, when you love someone, you're willing to do anything for them. Sometimes, that's not a good thing. Abusive relationships are hard to go through, especially when you don't admit you're in one. Angst/Comfort. Chad/Ryan WARNING: Contains dark, psychological themes, including FORCED SEX. Rated M. NOT FLUFF.
1. Chapter 1

WARNING: ANGST, FORCED SEX, MALEXMALE. Chad/Ryan. RATED M.

A/N:This is a sort of psychological story; people sometimes allow themselves to be in an abusive relationship when they really like the person, they convince themselves it's ok. And it is unfortunate, but it's real.

* * *

Ryan stood at Chad's doorway, wondering what had persuaded him to do this. Maybe he was tired of getting so turned on just by standing near Chad, or by having his heart melt every single time the other boy spoke. And what was worse, over the course of Senior year they had gotten really close, especially since Chad and Taylor broke up and Troy spent more time with Gabriella.

Every time that Chad touched him he went wild and he just couldn't take it any more. He was ready to confess.

He clenched his hands, self consciously patting the legs of his jeans, the ones that showed off his dancers legs. He made sure his light blue hat, the one that went just perfectly with his eyes,was cocked just right. He took a deep breath.

Then he knocked.

There was a pounding of jocks feet as Chad trampled down the stairs, the same sort of pounding as the one in Ryan's chest and the door swung in, revealing a grinning Chad. "Hey man!" Chad said, all pumped up and…

'_Hot…_' Ryan thought guiltily to himself. 'So damn hot…'

He realized that he was just standing there, so he cleared his throat and smiled back at Chad. "H-hey." He said. "Umm…I h-have to tell you something." His voice was cracking and he felt ashamed about it, but it couldn't be helped. The worst that could happen would be Chad rejecting him. And then…well, at least he'd know where he stood.

"Well, don't stand out there in that horrible weather, come in." Chad beamed, taking his hand. Ryan looked behind him and noticed that the sky indeed had a backdrop of gray. He hadn't even noticed. Ryan flushed, feeling the warmth of Chad's hand spread into his. Chad had incredibly soft hands for a jock, and gentle too. He wished Chad would hold him, maybe, soon, it could be reality.

Maybe.

Chad got to his room, and closed the door behind him. "It's kind of lonely with my parents gone for the week." He said. "I'm glad that you came."

Ryan smiled, loving the feeling of making Chad happy.

"So…what did you want to tell me?" Chad prodded, sitting on the edge of his bed.

Ryan leaned against the door frame, suddenly twice, if not three times as nervous as before. He thought he might faint, but Chad didn't seem to notice, he just kept smiling.

He sighed, stepping closer to Chad, wondering if he should just leave this alone. But, no, it would be better this way.

"Chad," He whispered. "We've been gradually getting closer and closer and I've realized…I've realized…" His voice sounded very faint, even to himself, and he wrung his gloved hands anxiously. "I'm in love with you." He whispered, looking at Chad's feet, refusing to meet the other boy's eyes.

Chad continued to stare at him, blankly, as if he hadn't heard, but Ryan knew he had, because his hands had tightened their hold on his quilted bedspread, and Chad seemed to have stopped breathing. It was silent for a while, and Ryan felt weak with nerves.

Chad continued to look up at him, and his grip loosed. "Are you serious?" He murmured.

Ryan blushed, hopeful. Chad didn't sound upset, he even sounded a little curious, like maybe he could be…sharing the feeling?

Ryan nodded, his blond hair floating round his adorable face.

Chad stood, his jaw set. His eyes seemed darker than before, and it scared Ryan a little bit. But he didn't have to be scared, because Chad would never hurt him.

"Fine then." Chad whispered. "Let's do it."

Ryan couldn't believe what he was hearing. They'd, just a few days ago had a heated discussion on how sex related to love, and both of them had come to the conclusion that love just didn't equal sex.

So why was Chad asking to do _'it'_?

Ryan's eyebrows drew together. Maybe that wasn't what Chad meant. Maybe he meant, let's do it as in, let's be boyfriends or something. But Chad's next phrase threw Ryan completely. "You've gotta take off your clothes." He snapped. "I can't fuck you through your clothes you know."  
"I know." Ryan said weakly. "I said…I said that I loved you Chad. Doesn't that mean anything to you?"

"It means something. I wouldn't be about to have sex with you if it didn't mean something." Chad sounded impatient, something Ryan had never heard in his voice before.

"But…I don't want to have sex." Ryan mumbled. What was Chad talking about? Chad had never talked this way before and it was beginning to scare him.

"Well, you should've kept your mouth shut then." Chad knocked off Ryan's hat, and it fell to the ground. Ryan looked into Chad's eyes, hoping to catch a glimmer of a laugh, to show this was a joke.

Chad grabbed unto one of his hands, and it hurt. "Stop!" Ryan yelled, wondering how he'd gotten to this point. Was Chad for real? Chad stared at him, as if contemplating his actions, and Ryan swore he saw regret glinting in Chad's eyes. But the next second it was gone and Chad had shoved him unto the bed, the same bed that they'd spend hours laughing together on, playing together, talking together.

"I'm serious Chad. I don't want to have sex with you!" Ryan screamed, trying to drag his hand away. 'Not like this, so suddenly, so emotionless...' Chad dragged his pants down and pulled Ryan's hands behind him, making Ryan wince in pain. He wanted to cry. Why was Chad doing this? Chad had become his best friend in the last few months, his first true best friend. He'd told everything to Chad, including the fact that he was gay. So why was Chad doing this now?

His face was pressed firmly against Chad's pillow, and he could hear the sounds of a zipper being ripped down and Chad's heavy breathing. "Chad…"He pleaded. "Don't."

There was a pause.

Then there was pain.

Ryan saw stars, and his body was violently shoved forward. He gripped the bedspread, wanting to scream, but smothering it with the pillow. If he screamed, people would hear.

But that's what he wanted, right? He should scream, so people would come and see that he was being raped. But in the back of his mind Ryan knew that he wouldn't, because then, Chad would be in trouble, and Ryan loved him too much to let that happen.

Trying to twist his hands out of the painful hold Chad had on them, Ryan yelped when Chad drove deeper, his hand running aggressively under Ryan's shirt, over his back.

Ryan felt every movement inside him, every painful movement, and lay there wishing that he'd never said anything, feeling his knees being drove further into the mattress.

For some minutes it was just the sound of grunting, whimpers of pain and heavy breathing, and then it was over. Ryan felt the rough intrusion leave him, and Chad get off the bed. He lay there, panting. He couldn't move, it hurt too much. His everything hurt too damn much.

Chad hovered over Ryan, watching as he tried to reach for his boxers, to pull them back up. "Had enough?" He sneered. "That was just round one."

Ryan stared at Chad, his best friend. The boy that had stood up to Sharpay for him when no one else would, who had brought him lunch while he was sick while everyone else avoided him like the plague.

Chad stared back at him, his eyes still dark and devastatingly frightening. "Still love me now?" He snapped. Chad's jaw tightened as he saw Ryan's face crumple. Tears began streaming down Ryan's cheek, vertically, since he was lying down.

Chad wanted to look away, but then it would be too obvious what he was trying to do. He bit his lip, wondering how long he could hold out. Ryan's hair was all over the place and his gorgeous eyes looked ten times so with the water reflecting them.

He looked away from Chad, not wanting him to see him cry. Then he felt Chad's hands on his waist. He winced, but the hands were soft and gentle, as they'd been before he'd confessed, and they pulled up Ryan's boxers, letting his jeans fall to the ground.

Ryan looked into Chad's concerned face, rightfully confused. He couldn't stop himself from crying, but through his tears he managed to ask, "Why?"

Chad sighed, holding Ryan by his shoulders and pulling him close. Ryan trembled, but it was almost like the experiences of the last five minutes were wiped from his mind, just from Chad's touch.

"I'm a coward." Chad whispered, shaking his head. He rested it atop Ryan's. "You should hate me forever. I'm such an asshole."

Ryan looked up at Chad, who was shocked to see that those eyes were still filled with trust. "Tell me." He said in that gentle way of his.

"I…I didn't want to face the music." Chad said softly. "I didn't want you to be in love with me, so I was trying to get you to hate me, ya know?"

"That's why you…did that? You wanted me to hate you?" Ryan looked up at Chad with confusion. Chad looked back at him, and then buried his face into Ryan's shoulder, ashamed.

"Yeah." He mumbled. "I figured you'd hate me, but eventually you'd forgive me and we could be friends again."

"But why didn't you want me to love you?" Ryan asked, wiping his face.

Chad didn't look up. "I love you too." He murmured. "I didn't want to admit that to myself. Coming out, telling my parents, I didn't want to go through that. And what's worse, if we were together, you'd get hurt by the stupid jocks that think you've made me gay already."

Ryan smiled tearily, loving Chad all the more. "You idiot." He whispered, cupping Chad's face and making him look up. "You think something as little as forcing me will get me to stop loving you? You're not getting rid of me that easily."

Chad stared at Ryan in wonder. "I love you." He whispered. "I'm sorry I hurt you."

Ryan watched Chad's eyes say things that his lips couldn't place.

"If you love me," He whispered back. "Go get some ointment or something, cause now, my butt hurts like hell."

Chad winced. "I'll make it up to you." He whispered.

Ryan knew Chad meant it, but he wasn't sure if this wouldn't happen again. But he pushed that thought aside. He loved Chad; he wanted this to work. His eyes shone. "Deal." He murmured.

Chad inched closer, his hand coming up being Ryan's neck. He stared at his flushed pink cheeks and smiled. "I really am sorry." He murmured.

Ryan grinned, obviously having long forgiven Chad. "Just kiss me." He begged.

"And next time you want me to hate you, just tell me. Cause I'd do anything for you."

* * *

Check out Chapter 2 to see what happens.


	2. Chapter 2

WARNING: ANGST. SERIOUS THEMES. NOT FLUFF.

* * *

Ryan was hardly himself any more. He'd been dating Chad for three months now and he was trying hard to make things work between them. It put a strain on him, because Chad's emotions were often all over the place. Sometimes, Chad was the sweetest guy ever, and it was those times Ryan loved him. But other times, Chad got angry, And Ryan was the one who felt the brunt of that anger.

He stood at his locker; every move he made had him wincing. Last night was one of those times. Even when he didn't want it, Chad gave it to him, whether he protested or not. So he stopped protesting- it felt better that way. He opened the locker and stood there for a while. He was on the verge of falling asleep. Chad had had him up all night.

"Ryan." he heard from behind him, and he jumped, knocking his head against his locker.

He turned, surprised to see Troy there. "T-Troy." he whispered. "What is it?" Troy rarely spoke to him; they were kind of friends, but not really. Troy was Chad's friend. Troy looked him over with an expression Ryan couldn't place. Finally, Troy said, "Come with me." Ryan closed his locker, shifting. "Ok..." he said, pulling his knapsack on. He followed Troy down the hallways, both of them silent.

Troy shoved the doors to the auditorium open. No one was there now, it was the middle of the day. "I have class in 10 minutes." Ryan piped.

"It can wait." Troy sat in an auditorium seat, gesturing for Ryan to sit beside him. Ryan did so, with a little bit of a struggle. Troy watched him. He said nothing, for a long time. Ryan stared at the head, as minutes stretched on. Troy stared ahead too, and Ryan wondered if he was ever going to say anything. "Troy, I have to go to class." he said finally, moving as if to stand.

Troy reached out and pushed him gently back down. When his hand came into contact with Ryan, Ryan flinched. "Sorry." Troy said, noticing. Ryan shook his head.

"It's oka-"

"I know what Chad's doing to you, Ryan." Troy interrupted quickly. He was looking down at his shoes.

"W-what?" Ryan piped. "What're you talking about?"

"He's raping you." Troy lifted his eyes to Ryan's and looked at him. He was clearly very embarrassed talking about this, but he pressed on.

Ryan's eyes widened. "Who told you that?" he whispered. Obviously Chad wouldn't say something like that, so who could've?

"No one." Troy said. "I've noticed. I've noticed the correlation between him being in a bad mood and you limping the next day at school. I've noticed how twitchy and sad you got after you guys started dating, when it should be the opposite. I've noticed how your singing voice is totally...void of something."

Ryan swallowed. "All that, huh?" he said.

Troy nodded.

"Well, you're wrong." he said. "How could you say something like that about your best friend? You should know Chad wouldn't do something like that."

"I know Chad." Troy said. "I know him, I love him. But he has a problem, Ryan."

"Shut up." Ryan said quickly. "Shut up, you're talking shit, Bolton. Stay out of our relationship. I'm not sticking my nose into yours." he was growing angry because Troy was pulling things out of him that he tried hard to keep inside. Fear, sadness, anger, hatred.

"Chad's uncle raped him when he was a kid." Troy said. "Did he tell you that?"

Ryan blinked in surprise, falling silent. Troy looked at him keenly.

"A lot." he added.

Ryan faltered. "I-I didn't know that." he said. Troy wouldn't lie about something like that, and the look in Troy's eyes told him he was very much being serious.

"He doesn't know how to express himself, Ryan. He's messed up inside." Troy patted his chest. "He loves you, but he needs help."

Ryan sat back and listened to Troy speak.

"I love Chad." Troy continued. "But I can't let him mess you up like he's messed up. You've got to admit to me what he's doing to you."

Ryan didn't say anything. He was for sure late to class now. His throat was hot and something bubbled inside it. "He..." he whispered, hot tears coming to his eyes as memories flashed all through him. "He..." he covered his face, his facade falling. "He forces me." he said finally.

"Forces you to what?" Troy whispered. He reached over and rubbed Ryan's back gently, consolingly.

"To do things to him when I don't want to." Ryan sobbed, tears leaking through his fingers. "Everything, whenever he's upset. He doesn't listen when I say no, when I scream no..."

Troy stood up and kneeled in front of Ryan, making the other teen jump. He slowly lifted his hands to cup Ryan's wet cheeks. Ryan's heart jumped a little. He'd never seen such a concerned look on anyone's face before. It was the gentlest, kindest look he'd ever seen, right there in Troy's deep blue eyes. He'd always tossed Troy off as just a straight, bone-head jock. He was very bad at judging personalities.

He cried and cried, his body shaking, and Troy wiped his cheeks. This went on for minutes, till he had a headache. Everything, all the pain poured from him. He collapsed from the chair, into Troy's arms, who held him tight and helped the shaking stop. "It's going to be ok." Troy whispered. "I'm going to get you guys both help. You'll be ok, Ryan. I'll protect you, ok?"

Ryan nodded into Troy's sleeve. "I'll fix this." Troy said, stroking Ryan's hair.

* * *

Ryan was lying on his bed, his phone clutched to his chest. Troy had promised to call him the second things were through with Chad. He didn't know how to feel about all this. He was mad at Chad for hurting him so many times, he was mad at himself for never stopping it, for allowing himself to get into this abusive relationship. He was...eternally grateful to Troy. But...he also still loved Chad, deeply. Was that wrong? He was frightened about that. Chad, when Chad was kind, he was so kind. And Ryan felt Chad tried to stop himself, but couldn't. All he could hope was that Chad would get the help he needed.

His phone buzzed and he quickly picked it up. "Ryan. "Troy's gentle voice came across the line. "Someone wants to speak to you." There was a pause.

"Ryan?"

"Chad.." Ryan's voice cracked.

"Ryan, I'm so fucking sorry." Chad whispered. He'd clearly been both screaming, and crying.

"Chad..." Was all Ryan could say. He didn't know how to feel.

"I can't believe...what I've been doing to you. I'm so...I...I..." Chad broke off. He was crying.

"I'm going to get help." he said. "I won't be at school for a couple months. I'm not allowed near you during that time."

"Where're you going?" Ryan asked.

"A center." Chad said. "I'm leaving now...my parents...they know...what I did, and what my uncle did to you. Troy told them everything..."

"Are you mad at him?" Ryan asked.

"No." Chad said. "He's...I'm so...happy I have him. And you have him. I'm sorry. I gotta go Ryan. I'll see you...sometime. I'm sorry."

Ryan felt empty. "I love you." he whispered. He did, he did love Chad. He didn't know if that was ok, if that was allowed.

"I love you too." Chad said, before handing the phone over.

Ryan's face crumpled. He missed Chad already, and he still didn't know how he was supposed to be feeling. "Hey." Troy said.

"Troy, thank you so much for helping Chad..." Ryan said.

"I'm just mad I didn't do it earlier." Troy said.

"Troy, I still love him. Is that wrong?" Ryan asked.

"No." Troy said quickly. "He needs your love, my love, his parents love, all of us, right now. He's been through a lot Ryan. It's ok to love him. I hope he'll be better soon."

"...Will we be able to date?" Ryan asked.

"I don't know." Troy said. "You've got to get counselling too, Ryan. When you're better, when both of you are better...maybe, I dunno."

"I miss him." Ryan whispered.

"I'll be here for you." Troy said.

"Troy, how come you noticed all that about me..." Ryan asked, curious.

"Because I notice you. I love you." Troy said. Then the line was dead. He'd hung up.

Ryan's heart pounded. Now he really had more questions than answers.

But at least now he could recover. Things would be ok.


End file.
